Episode 20: Tomorrow Never Dies

Episode 20: Tomorrow Never Dies

– You were pretty good with that hook.

– Thanks. It comes from growing up in a rough neighbourhood. You were pretty good with the bike.

– Thank you. It comes from not growing up at all.

We’re straight on to Pierce’s second film, in which he teams up with Nathan’s cousin-in-law to defeat a villain who is in equal parts Ted Turner, Rupert Murdoch and that guy who played the Master in Doctor Who that one time. It’s like a bunch of previous Bond films rolled in to one violently stirred vodka martini, really.

See the film

Tomorrow Never Dies is available for purchase on Blu-ray. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK)

You can also get it on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video.

Follow us!

Brendan is on Twitter as @critiqaltheory, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast.

We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we won’t release the video of you with the cheerleader and the quarterback in the Chicago motel room. Unless you want us to, of course.

Episode 19: GoldenEye

Episode 19: GoldenEye

– Good morning, Mr Bond, sit. I’m Defense Minister Dimitri Mishkin. So, by what means shall we execute you, Commander Bond?

– What, no small talk? No chit chat? That’s the trouble with the world today. No one takes the time to do a really sinister interrogation anymore. It’s a lost art.

This month, the entire franchise is retooled and the lead has been recast from the menswear department from Grace Brothers, but somehow we all manage to find these facts less compelling than the recent and terribly upsetting death of Sir Roger Moore. Cheerio, darling!

See the film

GoldenEye is available for purchase on Blu-ray. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK)

You can also get it on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video.

Follow us!

Brendan is on Twitter as @critiqaltheory, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast.

We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we promise to devote at least half an hour to each of our remaining commentaries to eulogising the wonderful Sir Roger Moore. (Actually, I think we’re planning to do that anyway.)

Episode 18: Licence to Kill

Episode 18: Licence to Kill

– When it gets up to your ankles, you’re going to beg to tell me everything. When it gets up to your knees, you’ll kiss my ass to kill you.

This week, we’re still as dark and edgy as ever, but instead of commenting on a fun and witty espionage thriller, we’re consumed by a thirst for revenge, like so many tiresome action heroes of the 1990s. There’s also some stuff about cocaine mixed with petrol, which comes with so many warnings from the Surgeon General that you can barely fit them on the side of an oil tanker.

See the film

Licence to Kill is available for purchase on Blu-ray. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK)

You can also get it on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video.

Follow us!

Brendan is on Twitter as @critiqaltheory, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast.

We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we’ll really give you a nice honeymoon. A proper romantic one, with flowers and martinis and things.

Episode 17: The Living Daylights

Episode 17: The Living Daylights

– Why didn’t you learn the violin?

We’re back after a two-year break, and somehow we’re darker, sexier, edgier, and a whole lot more Welsh. Brendan’s hot and bothered, James is seeking other podcasting opportunities, and Nathan is weirdly obsessed with the Dalton hair. He’s probably just jealous.

See the film

The Living Daylights is available for purchase on Blu-ray. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK)

You can also get it on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video.

Follow us!

Brendan is on Twitter as @critiqaltheory, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast.

We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we promise we won’t punch Robert Brown in the face until at least the next film.

Episode 16: A View to a Kill

Episode 16: A View to a Kill

– Welcome sir, I’m Jenny Flex.

– Of course you are.

Well, it’s our last ever Rodgecast, and we couldn’t be more upset to see him go. (Although he only appears in this film for about five minutes: in most scenes he is played by one of a team of about three dozen stuntmen.) To console ourselves, we share a few bottles of bubbles, while we discuss flirting grandparents, pranking Roger in bed, the absence of Ken Adam, the worst actors to play Bond villains, the curse of Goldfinger, and the terrible disappointment of a flaccid zeppelin.

See the film

If you can tolerate buying yet another plastic disk, you can buy A View to a Kill on Blu-ray. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK)

It’s also available on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video.

Follow us!

Brendan is on Twitter as @critiqaltheory, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast.

We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we’ll think twice before breaking your precious Ming vase over an intruder’s head.

Episode 15: Never Say Never Again

Episode 15: Never Say Never Again

– Good to see you Mr Bond. Things’ve been awfully dull round here. Bureaucrats running the whole place. Everything done by the book. Can’t make a decision unless the computer gives you the go ahead. Now you’re on this. I hope we’re going to have some gratuitous sex and violence!

– I certainly hope so too.

For legal reasons, this month, Brendan, Nathan, Richard and James have decided to do a remake of Bondfinger Episode 4, with much more exciting lighting and production design and a much less coherent script. But all is not lost. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Max von Sydow, Rowan Atkinson and Pamela Salem to the world of Bond, and Never Say Never Again.

See the film

The Blu-ray of Never Say Never Again is ridiculously expensive in the US, and comparatively cheap in post-Brexit Britain. But, honestly, don’t bother. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK)

It’s also available on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video.

Follow us!

Brendan is on Twitter as @critiqaltheory, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast.

We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we’ll somehow manage to fill that beaker you’re holding from here.

Doctor Who in Ten Seconds

Brendan’s currently on a secret mission to undermine the government of a tiny South Pacific nation, and so he’s been unable to create a new episode of Doctor Who in Ten Seconds. But if you’d like to see him summarise his way through Doctor Who‘s first seven seasons, just visit the webpage or subscribe on YouTube.

Episode 14: Octopussy

Episode 14: Octopussy

– Is he still there?

– You must be joking! 007 on an island populated exclusively by women? We won’t see him till dawn!

This month, we’re throwing political correctness to the winds, and trying out every conceivable Indian stereotype. Brendan is sleeping on a bed of nails, Nathan is swallowing swords, Richard is charming snakes, and (strangely) James is dressing as Agnetha from the music video of SOS. It’s the second best Bond film of 1983 (or is it?). Welcome to Octopussy.

See the film

Buy the Blu-ray of Octopussy. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK)

It’s also available on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video.

Follow us!

Brendan is on Twitter as @critiqaltheory, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast.

We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we promise to give you enough cash to keep you in curry for a few weeks. (This promise should not be regarded as in any way legally binding.)

Doctor Who in Ten Seconds

We never mention Doctor Who on Bondfinger, of course, so you have probably never even heard of it. But if you have, you will certainly enjoy Brendan’s video series Doctor Who in Ten Seconds, in which he summarises each Doctor Who story from the 1960s and 1970s in no more than 10 seconds. To watch the series, just visit the webpage or subscribe on YouTube.

Episode 13: For Your Eyes Only

Episode 13: For Your Eyes Only

– Mr. Bond! We can do a deal! I’ll by you a delicatessen in stainless steel! Please!

– Alright, keep your hair on!

– Put me down! Put me down!

– Oh, you want to get off?

This month, Brendan, Nathan, Richard and James decide to rein it all back in — we’re dumping into a chimney the whole idea of taking over the world, and instead we’ll just do a whole lot of skiing, rock-climbing and wrangling over a eighties-era electronic calculators. Oh, and punching Lynn-Holly Johnson in the face. For Your Eyes Only-y-y!

See the film

Buy the Blu-ray of For Your Eyes Only. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK)

It’s also available on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video.

Follow us!

Brendan is on Twitter as @critiqaltheory, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. Feel free to tweet at James with your podcast suggestions. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast.

We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we’ll totally award you a gold medal for breath control.

Doctor Who in Ten Seconds

Since our last Bondfinger, Brendan has been hard at work on Doctor Who in Ten Seconds, which now covers the 1960s and the first season of the 1970s. To see Brigade Leader Brendan gurn his way through the first seven years of Doctor Who, just visit the webpage or subscribe on YouTube.

Episode 12: Moonraker

Episode 12: Moonraker

– Mr Bond, you persist in defying my efforts to provide an amusing death for you.

This month, Brendan, Nathan, Richard and James watch the widely reviled 1979 classic Moonraker, and to their absolute delight, they discover that it’s actually really good. Of course, they also criticise some terrible kerning, wince at the series’ most upsetting death, and wonder if Drax’s guards can actually hear anything under all that.

Oh, and Brendan sings Joe Cornish’s proposed theme for Quantum of Solace.

See the film

Buy the Blu-ray of Moonraker. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK)

It’s also available on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video.

Follow us!

Brendan is on Twitter as @critiqaltheory, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast.

We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we will completely overlook that regrettable incident in Egypt where you bit out the throat of beloved English actor Nadim Sawalha.

Doctor Who in Ten Seconds

Since our last Bondfinger, Brendan has been hard at work on Doctor Who in Ten Seconds, which now covers the entirety of the 1960s. To catch Brendan’s uniquely sweet and sardonic take on Doctor Who, or just to see him clad in skin-tight glittery spandex, just visit the webpage or subscribe on YouTube.

Episode 11: The Spy Who Loved Me

Episode 11: The Spy Who Loved Me

— Oh, by the way, thanks for deserting me back there.

— Every women for herself, remember?

— Still, you did save my life.

— We all make mistakes, Mr. Bond.

After a couple of fairly lacklustre films, the James Bond franchise roars back to life in the seminal Bond film of the 1970s: The Spy Who Loved Me. So, among the crude double entendres and Doctor Who references, there’s a lot of admiration here: the frocks, Jaws, Barbara Bach’s fabulous breasts, Bernard Lee’s fabulous nose, and the biggest set in the biggest sound stage in human history.

As always, Bondfinger isn’t really safe for work.

See the film

Buy the Blu-ray of The Spy Who Loved Me. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK)

It’s also available on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video.

Follow us!

Brendan is on Twitter as @critiqaltheory, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast.

We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we promise to always keep the British end up, sir.

Doctor Who in Ten Seconds

On Bondfinger, we make it a strict rule to never mention Doctor Who, of course. But just this once, let’s make an exception.

Brendan has just uploaded the latest episode of Doctor Who in Ten Seconds, in which he deftly summarises every story in Doctor Who’s Season 4. Trust us, you’ll love it.

And for more delightful Doctor Who–summarising whimsy, you can visit the webpage or subscribe on YouTube.