– There are two ways to disable an alligator, Mr Bond.
– I don’t suppose you’d care to share that information with me?
– One way is to take a pencil and stick it in the pressure point above its eye.
– And the other way?
– Oh, the other way is twice as simple. Just stick your hand in its mouth and pull out all its teeth.
This month, Brendan, Nathan, Richard and James watch the first of Roger Moore’s seven Bond films: Live and Let Die. We cringe at the racism, admire Tee Hee’s positive approach to his work and enjoy Roger Moore’s best hair ever.
– Really? There’s only one problem. I have no swimming trunks.
– Neither have I.
This month, Brendan, Richard and James shred to pieces one of Nathan’s favourite Bond films, The Man with the Golden Gun. On the way, we discuss the casting couch, Roger’s reluctance to learn the choreography, the inscrutable geography of Asia and the need for every Bond stunt from here on in to be performed to the sound of a slide whistle.
— Oh, by the way, thanks for deserting me back there.
— Every woman for herself, remember?
— Still, you did save my life.
— We all make mistakes, Mr. Bond.
After a couple of fairly lacklustre films, the James Bond franchise roars back to life in the seminal Bond film of the 1970s: The Spy Who Loved Me. So, among the crude double entendres and Doctor Who references, there’s a lot of admiration here: the frocks, Jaws, Barbara Bach’s fabulous breasts, Bernard Lee’s fabulous nose, and the biggest set in the biggest sound stage in human history.
Mr Bond, you persist in defying my efforts to provide an amusing death for you.
This month, Brendan, Nathan, Richard and James watch the widely reviled 1979 classic Moonraker, and to their absolute delight, they discover that it’s actually really good. Of course, they also criticise some terrible kerning, wince at the series’ most upsetting death, and wonder if Drax’s guards can actually hear anything under all that.
– Mr. Bond! We can do a deal! I’ll by you a delicatessen in stainless steel! Please!
– Alright, keep your hair on!
– Put me down! Put me down!
– Oh, you want to get off?
This month, Brendan, Nathan, Richard and James decide to rein it all back in — we’re dumping into a chimney the whole idea of taking over the world, and instead we’ll just do a whole lot of skiing, rock-climbing and wrangling over a eighties-era electronic calculators. Oh, and punching Lynn-Holly Johnson in the face. For Your Eyes Only-y-y!
– You must be joking! 007 on an island populated exclusively by women? We won’t see him till dawn!
This month, we’re throwing political correctness to the winds, and trying out every conceivable Indian stereotype. Brendan is sleeping on a bed of nails, Nathan is swallowing swords, Richard is charming snakes, and (strangely) James is dressing as Agnetha from the music video of SOS. It’s the second best Bond film of 1983 (or is it?). Welcome to Octopussy.
Well, it’s our last ever Rodgecast, and we couldn’t be more upset to see him go. (Although he only appears in this film for about five minutes: in most scenes he is played by one of a team of about three dozen stuntmen.) To console ourselves, we share a few bottles of bubbles, while we discuss flirting grandparents, pranking Roger in bed, the absence of Ken Adam, the worst actors to play Bond villains, the curse of Goldfinger, and the terrible disappointment of a flaccid zeppelin.